May 28, 2020
I feel way overexposed. It feels uncomfortable because I can’t experience you seeing me. Why would you give a what I’m thinking or feeling. I had an instinct and acted on it because if I hadn’t then the moment would’ve been lost, but today it feels painful – like a drawing that’s gone awry. All I know is that it’s a privilege to be able to reflect. I know many don’t have that luxury right now. I’m pulling closer around my phone writing as the air cools by the water. I’m thinking of lighting a fire but it’s not the same on my own. There’s something in me that knows that I’ll only really enjoy it if it’s shared. Our early ancestors would have sat round fires telling stories, mesmerized by the rhythm of the flames into analog dreaming. Now our screens tell story to us. Time feels like honey slumping off a spoon – its meniscus reflecting reality in surreal hues. Normal, not normal. Sound travels well over water. I catch bytes from people who pass. A stand-up paddle boarder drifting with today’s incoming tide recounted to a friend how she’s hitting it hard to just get a break. Most of the talk I hear is trying to make sense of this moment. There’s a part of me that’s frustrated – craving a return to some kind of normal – and a part that’s searching for openings. I want to participate in the transformation of a system that benefits few at the expense of many. But what agency do we have as a people to deconstruct with grace and rebuild with insight? The tops of my teeth have been ground pretty flat for some years. I don’t know whether it’s a decade of carving stone and chewing dust or if it’s anxiety. I know I chew the skin on the inside of my mouth sometimes. Maybe it’s that.
This article is crazy: waitbutwhy.com/2015/01/artificial-intelligence-revolution-1.html
#notaselfie #notanartwork #notaresidency #uncurated #14days #quarantine #selfportrait #mirror #reflection #introvertion #outroversion #timealone #wherenext